What Is Protein? I Want To Know, But The Wiki Gives Me A Headache

Protein: We all know it's good for us, but when you try to read about it, all you get are these chemical explanations that bring back sweaty nightmares from high school. So what is it? And since it's called protein, does that mean you can be against theine, too?

What is it?!

Protein is one of the nutrients that provides energy to the body, just like carbohydrates and fats. What makes protein different from the other types? Amino acids. It may sound like a Spotify playlist for Japanese techno music, but it's actually an essential building block for your body.

After writing this blog post, we felt inspired and went looking for Japanese techno. Turns out it's actually a pretty big thing. Who would have thought... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And it's really amazing. It's good for your bones, blood, skin and hair, and it defends you against infections. It helps your muscles contract, your eyes see, and your nails scratch out your enemies' eyes. (Or open a can of cola.)

Your body needs a constant supply of protein because when you don't have new building blocks being added, your body will draw the amino acid from itself. You know, like a Jenga tower that grows because you tear pieces off of itself. Everyone who's ever played a game of Jenga knows that the more blocks you pull on it, the sooner the tower will collapse, and you'll have to throw yourself on the floor to pick up the pieces, with your knees in a puddle of beer and your head banging against the table. So you better eat some fresh building blocks on a regular basis, get it?

So where do I get these Jenga blocks?

Jimmy Joy has you covered. The protein in the Plenny Shake contains all nine essential amino acids your body needs, making sure your body gets the recommended daily intake set by the World Health Organization, the European Food Safety Authority, and the CPC. That last one stands for Cool People Club and we made that up. The first two organizations are legit, though!

There's not just one protein source in Plenny Shake, there are three: rice, hemp, and soy. Soy protein alone would have been more than enough to provide you with all the essential amino acids, but we added rice and hemp as well, for the very scientific reason of "we thought it was cool." (And also because it creates a more diverse nutrient profile.)

Some fun facts about protein:

• Protein is very helpful when recovering from RSI. So it is very good for computer addicts and also for masturbation addicts.
• A dairy protein is used in the manufacture of latex. Therefore, most condoms are not suitable for vegans. (Don't forget to tell your vegan babies about Plenny Shake) (1)
• Peanut butter was invented to be a source of protein for people without teeth. Meth addicts always have the best food. (2)
• A protein in the human body is named after Pikachu because it transmits electrical impulses from the eyes to the brain (thankfully not while shouting its own name in a high-pitched voice). (3)
• There is also a type of protein in the human body named after Sonic the Hedgehog. We're not sure why - maybe Protein is fast? Or spiny? Maybe Protein is a forgotten icon from the nineties that never achieved the same level of fame as its competitor Protein Mario? (4)
• The word “protein” means “of utmost importance,” which makes sense now that you know what protein does for your body. Hopefully, fats and carbs won’t feel so bad because they’re obviously second-rate nutrients.
• The protein in the Plenny Shake helps lower the shake's glycemic index, which reduces the impact of a sugar crash. So, it's because of the protein that you're not whining for a nap a few hours after lunch.
• We couldn't figure out if you can also be against tein. The biology teacher we've been asking keeps hanging up on us. We'll keep trying though!

If you liked this article, be sure to also check out:

• What Is Protein?
• What's So Good About Oatmeal (and Why You Should Eat It for Breakfast)?
• 4 Ways to Improve Your Breakfast Oatmeal Smoothie
• The Truth About Soy
• Oats: The Queen of Superfoods
• Jimmy Joy's Guide to Making Meal Replacement Shakes Right
• Jimmy Joy Liquid Diet Tips for Broken Jaw, Eating Disorders and More
• Liquid Diets: Easier Weight Loss or Gain
• Why On Earth Would Anyone Give Up Real Food For Liquid Food?

SOURCES

1. Wondering what condoms are made of
2. Peanut butter history
3. Lightningfast vision protein named after pikachu
4. Sciencedaily